Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
false alarm. still invincible.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
