My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
