i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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