So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
