You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
