Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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