Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
