how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
