i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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