i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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