lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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