The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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