I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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