So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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