It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
