I got chris browned last night
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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