Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
