You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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