I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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