I just found puke in my bra..
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
