i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
