I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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