In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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