She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I haven't been this sober since birth.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We need to get me chipped asap
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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