that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
