real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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