omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
