I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
