coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
