At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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