North Korea, Best Korea!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
