I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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