so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
