hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
