You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
