dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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