The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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