But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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