I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
