oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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