College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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