True but thats because hes a fetus.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
