I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I will pee on everything he values.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
