That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
