ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
