We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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