is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
