dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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