I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
