Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
